Friday, 10 July 2009

Feeling discouraged

It's been a few weeks since my last rather hopeful post, and I have to admit that I'm starting to feel a little discouraged. I've started a new job, which I'm absolutely loving, but what with my upcoming wedding and a house that needs more than a lick of paint, I'm no longer finding the time to write. I miss it terribly and try to fit it in where I can, but sometimes I just can't justify heading to the computer when there's a thousand and one things to be done. So that's my first problem.

The second problem is that the rejection slips for my first book are starting to come back in droves. Well, at least it feels like droves. I've received 6 so far. The only one that actually got to me was one that stated that my submission had been 'carefully considered'. In most cases, that wouldn't bother me, but I know that I put the darn thing in the post on 30 June, and the letter dated back said 1 July. Sounds to me like it slipped through the door and was sent straight back out again. Fair enough, if you've got dozens of manuscripts to look through, but my goodness golly gosh I wish I knew what I was doing that was so obviously, easily, unmistakeably wrong.

The thing is, I never actually intended to submit this book for publication. It was supposed to be my training wheels for writing. But a few people read it and encouraged me, and now I'm starting to wonder if I made the right choice. I know it's hard to be published, but I'm starting to lose belief in my own book, and that can't be a good thing. Perhaps I should have waited until I had written something I thought was the best I could do.

I've also received three or four rejections from my short stories. I know, it happens to everyone, but I feel like I need just the teensiest scrap of something positive to feel better. I can't stop writing, that won't happen, but it would be nice to feel confident about it again.

Sorry, I've got the rejection blues, so I'll sign off here.